This year, I turned 25, marking the quarter of a century, my silver year, and my frontal lobe is now fully developed... allegedly. 

To celebrate, I put together a list of some of the most profound learnings I’ve accumulated in life thus far. 

I think it’s kind of wild how many alternative ways you’ll hear the same advice, just worded slightly differently. So much of it won’t make any sense until you somehow figure it out for yourself… or at least, that’s been my experience… and it’s an unending process. I suppose that adds more proof to the famous quote, “You learn by doing.” 

Each of the following realizations has distinctly entered my life, and I hold them close to my heart. 

So, here it goes… my attempt at a list of some of the most impactful pieces of wisdom I’ve accumulated as a young adult, many of which I’ve come up with myself, and I hope you either find similar value in them or formulate your own unique perspective.

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1. Stay in an unwavering state of curiosity.

Sure, it might sound obvious and even a bit cliché, but that doesn’t mean it should be overlooked. Staying curious keeps life interesting and your mind sharp. No matter your age or phase in life, I believe it’s essential to keep the doors of curiosity open because you never know what may present itself to you. Acknowledging this state of being allows you to be continually open to new ideas, information, people, experiences, wisdom, advice, methods, ways of doing things, and so much more. Being open to something doesn’t mean you must subscribe to it. Remaining curious allows you to let in new things, and then you can decide what to do with it from there. 

2. Never ignore compounding interest.

Compounding interest is most commonly associated with finance, but it can also be applied to various aspects of life where small, consistent efforts or actions accumulate over time, leading to significant long-term benefits. The most obvious aspects of life that come with compounding interest are physical health, relationships (family and friendships), learning and skill building, and developing habits.

3. Remain true to yourself.

Above all, stay true to your values, passions, and intuition (your gut). Avoid being persuaded by people, temptations, societal expectations, and conventional norms that threaten your most deeply rooted morals and goals… especially corrupt authorities. Always look inward first before looking outwards.

4. Prioritize self-discovery.

I know people always say this, but the only way to really understand what you like is to figure out what you don’t like. Even if you take a job you hate, it still comes with a massive silver lining of communicating that you aren’t meant for it. Take the time to discover more things you’re passionate about, and pay close attention to creating a hierarchy of your passion for each thing. It’s okay if that hierarchy constantly changes; just try to keep tabs on where they’re at and continue to be intentional.

5. Maintain work-life balance.

Rome wasn’t built in a day. No, really, no one becomes a billionaire overnight, and most quality projects or businesses aren’t built within a matter of days. Good things take time… therefore, it’s better to get comfortable with that complete and utter truth. With that being said, don’t sacrifice your personal life or physical health in the pursuit of getting there quicker. Balance is essential for long-term happiness and health. No job, relationship, or one-off experience is worth intentionally trading in your health for.

6. Don’t underestimate the force that is charisma.

Genuine charisma is intangible. You can’t buy it, and you either have it or you don’t. I genuinely think charisma takes people more places in their careers than anything else… more than money, connections, networking, creativity, etc. Charisma is the ability to influence without logic, and it’s probably the one quality that crosses every domain, industry, position, department, etc. But the tricky thing about charisma is people think it can be manufactured, and that’s not true. Many people might be good at seeming charismatic, even though behind the scenes, they aren’t passionate about what they’re talking about or are trying to fit into a mold. I think only naturally charismatic people are equipped to identify inauthentic ones. 

In short, be authentic, and when you begin working on something you are passionate about, your natural charisma will subconsciously emanate, and people will notice. Never suppress charisma for the sake of seeming poised, “cool,” or suave or to give someone else an undeserved spotlight. Also, I think the most charismatic people always show their raw emotions, the full range, meaning they aren’t fake “happy” all the time. They’re just real ass humans.

7. Build and nurture ALL relationships (especially with family & friends).

This one speaks for itself and goes along with work-life balance. Prioritize cultivating meaningful connections with all of the different individuals in your life. Some co-workers can become close friends, and it’s OK if others don’t. You’ll lose closeness to certain friends from childhood, high school, and college and replace them with new ones. It’s just how it is. Don’t shy away from befriending someone much older and in a different stage of life than you because they are the best mentors. Networking isn’t just about advancing professionally or cultivating some sort of transaction; it’s about fostering a more robust support system and boosting personal growth. Lastly, don’t only rely on other friends to introduce you to people like that… take charge and do it yourself. Old farts love to dump their wisdom on young people, so let them do it. Being attentive to them, engaging, and appreciative of their lectures will show them you’re open-minded, humble, and have a good head on your shoulders. While the optics matter in these interactions, be mindful to back them with sincere gratitude and appreciation. In turn, they might reward you with capital, advice, and support in your ventures, which, from there, is just a bonus.

8. Avoid setting annual goals.

Sometimes, it scares me how fast I’m changing… it almost feels like daily. It’s impossible not to have dozens of drastic changes within the span of a year; therefore, how can one realistically set annual goals for their professional and personal lives? With that being said, I recommend starting with 90-day goals. Ninety days (3 months) is much easier to visualize and predict and allows you to set realistic and tangible goals. Attempting to set yearly goals will disappoint you and waste time in your early 20s. Setting closer-together goals gives you the wiggle room to allow yourself to change (change your mind, plans, methods of thinking, etc.).

9. Stay spontaneous.

I envy the past versions of myself who found spontaneity the easiest aspect of life. I used to be that way when I was in college, and I drastically lost my spontaneity when I started working and felt that I needed to be the most optimized version of myself all the time. Since then, I’ve learned to fight for it. Through that repeated effort, I have regained my spontaneous side and am currently working hard to actively ensure it sticks around. No matter how mentally demanding your job might seem, it’s not worth passing up opportunities to experience life. Embrace change and be adaptable in our ridiculous, ever-evolving world. Keep your plans flexible, don’t get pissed if things don’t work out (“all plans are fluid”), and be able to pivot when necessary to seize new opportunities. I think many of the fondest memories come as a result of spontaneity.

10. Seek knowing rather than being known.

Nuff said.

11. Smell the flowers.

If there were a universal “Top 50 Most Cliché Sayings” list, I’m almost sure that “Stop and Smell the Roses.” would be on it. I don’t consider it to be an inspirational quote per se... I think it’s closer to a mantra. However, it’s one of those sayings that transcends history, culture, trends, and humanity at large. It represents the concepts of gratitude, appreciation, and gratefulness while being a relatable example of how we can further acknowledge our consciousness.

I gravitate toward shorter mantras because they are hard to forget. They promote self-awareness and groundedness, reminding me of important values I want to embody and display to the world as often as possible. 

Recently, I created a spinoff of the mantra above and made it my own—" Smell the flowers.” Yeah, yeah, I know you’ve probably heard this already. Still, when it comes to sayings such as this one, I’d like to tell you my realization: cliché mantras offer so much space for attaching infinite personal stories, takeaways, and different perceptions. Also, why only roses? I want to smell ALL the flowers.

Reminding myself to smell the flowers is the most surefire way to ground myself at any moment, and I have come to repeat it quite often.

12.  Moderation isn’t the same as balance.

Moderation and balance are often confused, and they’re NOT the same. Moderation involves limiting excess and ensuring nothing is overdone. It’s about restraint and control. Balance, however, is more profound—it’s the art of harmonizing different aspects of life. While moderation curbs extremes, balance creates a sustainable equilibrium where work, rest, relationships, and self-care coexist. Achieving balance requires understanding and integrating your priorities meaningfully rather than just avoiding excess. 

Moderation is a tool; balance is the goal. I’ve learned that when life feels out of balance, leveraging the tools of moderation across different facets of my daily routines is a way to inch back into the swing of things; however, perpetually living this way can lead to resentment, stress, and a variety of other negative emotions that can be unhealthy in the long run. 

Learning moderation with my digital devices proved a much greater feat than anticipated. They constantly surround us, and nearly all pop culture is centered around social media. Learning to control your device instead of it controlling you is important. Something that worked for me to achieve a better relationship with my devices, especially my phone, was almost developing a hatred for it. By hating it, I learned to classify it and, therefore, understand using it as a mere necessity or occasional form of escapism and no longer a crutch. 

13. You can’t archive everything.

As a self-diagnosed serial offloader, I’ve dealt with various tribulations. If there were a Ph.D. in documenting aspects of life in the digital world, I’d have one. Ever since I was a kid, I have kept every card, meaningful gift, printed photo, and concert ticket. I even went through a phase where I was keeping my hotel room keys… insane… trust me, I’m aware. I’ve been in the habit for years of archiving physical artifacts that mean something to me, as well as digital ones; however, my digital archive of things is much more of a behemoth. I’ve learned I can’t keep every physical item. Gifted flowers die after a few days. A custom birthday cake with your name on it only lasts 20 minutes as it gets eaten by everyone at your birthday dinner. Even cards from loved ones aren’t all that memorable. It’s through realizing realities of this nature that I have grown some teeth when it comes to archiving and documenting artifacts that genuinely mean something to me. Especially once I graduated college and the collection had grown substantially, I purged quite a few things (both physically and digitally). However, to this day, every year, I copy all of my newly added important files, photos, videos, and whatever else on my computer to an external hard drive for safekeeping. I think people have way too much trust in the cloud. I don’t know what I would do with myself if I ever lost my iCloud photo album. Therefore, I’d recommend keeping a fail-safe of digital keepsakes, whether it be your photostream, notes, contacts, emails, or anything you’d want always to be able to access.

Similarly, I’ve gone through phases of attempting to document every creative thought, idea, quote, etc. that pops into my brain as I go about my day out of fear I’ll forget it, or it’ll never cross my mind again. I’m unsure how this fear developed within me, but I’ve learned much more about it now, or at least enough to keep it in check. I can’t possibly offload everything from my brain into a digital format. By not keeping this niche desire in check, I allow it to be an incessant itch that can never be scratched. With technology developing rapidly, jotting down ideas, writing, collaborating, documenting, and creating has never been easier, and I’m a fan of digital formats. Instead of boxes filled to the brim hidden in a closet, loads of file cabinets, and folders to store documents and letters, computers allow us to archive a larger quantity of the relics we require, cherish, and want to hold onto. You should be golden if everything is stored with care and consideration.

14. Work for people, not a company.

I always knew I wanted to work in the internet technology industry. When I graduated from Chapman, big tech companies were in their prime. I totally could have stayed out in California, found an in-person job at a large tech company with a reputable name, made an almost six-figure base salary, worked alongside a lot of other young people, and posted frequent promotional announcements on LinkedIn for all of my networks to see. However, I did not choose this path for a variety of reasons. The primary reason was I didn’t want to be disposable. I didn’t want to be a small fish in a big pond and play the hierarchy game for several years to inch closer to some glimpse of decision-making power. I just had a hunch I wouldn’t learn as fast as I would working in a small company/startup environment.

Therefore, I found a small group of great people who all shared similar perspectives. I found a boss I respect tremendously and who’s allowed me ample freedom to grow in a copious number of ways. Sure, I had to decide against the opportunity to make more money, but I have never regretted my decision. I chose a more preferable route for secure work-life balance, a role that allows me to wear a multitude of hats every day, which certainly keeps me on my toes, and a small team that feels like a family.

Many young people feel pressured to accept roles at large companies because of the financial security they offer. With inflation being so high the past several years and the economy making it so much more challenging to find ideal job positions, most people around this age have struggled to find a quality work setup. That said, I know how lucky I am to have found a setup that truly fits and checks the boxes for me. Not everyone can find opportunities like that as easily. However, I know they ARE out there if you look hard enough. And for that reason, I’d recommend finding people you genuinely respect (it could be one, ten, or fifty..), with whom you have chemistry and want to work for, rather than choosing to work for a company itself. There is a difference.

Working for a person, not just a company, taps into our underlying need for connection and community. We thrive when we feel part of a real, supportive team where relationships matter more than just the bottom line. Having a direct, human connection with those we work for and with makes us feel valued, understood, and motivated. It creates a sense of belonging and purpose, turning work into more than just a job—it becomes a shared mission. For me, having shared values with the people I work with (both morally, spiritually, and even somewhat politically) isn’t just a bonus. It’s an absolute necessity.

15. Learn how to un-hurry.

I can’t tell you how many speeding tickets I’ve had in the last five years alone. Growing up, when I had a set school schedule, a predictable routine, and less on my plate, I was never in a rush driving on the road. Something shifted once I graduated college, where I felt I had to maximize every minute of the day—time-blocking everything, from hours allotted to work, sleep, and eating, while also factoring in exercise, self-care, appointments, errands, time spent with friends and family, passion projects, relaxation, and all the rest. I discovered my newfound perpetual state was being in a rush. This state manifested itself off the roads as well. I stopped focusing on one task at a time and became an extreme multi-tasker… this only worsened my state of hurriedness. I began to find it challenging to sit down and watch an entire movie without voices telling me I shouldn’t rest because my time would be better spent being “productive.” I mean, what was I on? Rest is one of the most productive uses of time. Period. Our bodies are not machines. 

Granted, during this life phase, I worked hard and learned a lot… and sure, I was “productive.” But I forgot, or maybe I never even knew, how to un-hurry. 

Learning to “un-hurry” is essential for mastering time management that genuinely supports your life. The book “How to Un-Hurry” taught me to quiet those nagging voices that say I’m never doing enough or that rest is wasted time. It’s about embracing quality over quantity—scheduling with intention, finding balance, and allowing yourself to rest without guilt. By slowing down, you become more effective, focused, and fulfilled in all areas of life. It’s a reminder that time management isn’t just about getting more done—it’s about creating a life where you can thrive without constantly rushing.

16. A little bit of escapism is healthy.

Several years ago, I wrote an entry titled “Escapism,” which was my formal introduction to the concept. At the time, I didn’t fully comprehend the sheer amount of escapism I indulged in regularly as a typical college student. Alcohol, drugs, video games, TV, social media, compulsive shopping, and work are a few examples of outlets I found myself engaging in a lot more frequently than I do now. I’m grateful to have had a jarring moment when I realized I needed to dial back the amount I indulged in. If not for that, I would have never taught myself better discipline. I learned how to reset my dopamine receptors and reintegrate each escapism outlet in a much more balanced way. However, over the years, I’ve learned that some escapism is perfectly healthy, as it alleviates day-to-day stress… and we all know stress is a killer. Whether through books, movies, art, sports, or other hobbies, brief escapes help recharge our minds and spark creativity. By allowing ourselves to unwind and explore different worlds, we return to reality with renewed energy and perspective.

17. Happiness is a byproduct, not an ideal state.

I find it peculiar how much our culture has drilled into everyone that we’re all entitled to continuous happiness. When did this shift start happening? And when did the lines become so blurred that mere contentment isn’t enough? Instead, it must be 24/7 extraordinary levels of happiness, or else it means something’s profoundly wrong.

I think it would do us all a favor if we separated the emotions of contentment and happiness. Happiness is a byproduct of scattered moments, achievements, epiphanies, and special occasions, not an ideal, unending state. In fact, I don’t think there’s a single human who has successfully maintained an impervious level of joy, and if someone claims to have done so—either it’s because of drugs, or some form of denial or derangement. Joy is not contentment, and contentment is not joy. 

I recently finished an entry titled “Experientially Rich.” In this entry, I pointed out my thoughts surrounding modern culture and how we currently define what it means to be “rich” in life. Some of my favorite articles to read and dissect don’t have one clear point they’re trying to drive home... There were a couple there I was trying to convey, but the whole topic of experiences, in general, is just so broad. Mostly, I was trying to make light of the fact that richness is NOT happiness across the board and trying to help people have more tools to vet a lot of toxic glamorized content we are fed online. Pursuing happiness as a primary goal won’t get anyone as far as they think it will.

While discussing this topic with a friend, he stated a noteworthy opinion that I realized I completely agree with:

“I primarily learned that you don't take anything for granted and that human experience is beyond simple emotional states. If you want to be something and make something of yourself, you have to look beyond how you feel in the moment. A bit of discomfort and a hell of a lot of pain can shape you into something so much better.”

18. If negative energy isn’t transformed, it will be transmitted.

If negativity isn’t transformed, it often becomes transmitted to others, creating a cycle of harm. Unprocessed emotions can manifest as anger, resentment, or blame, affecting relationships and environments. We break the cycle by consciously addressing and transforming negativity and fostering more positive connections and outcomes.

19. In this world, there are givers, and there are takers.

Don’t ever be a taker.

20. Mindset can influence your “luck.”

I used to think I had “bad luck” and repeated it to myself and the people around me disturbingly often. Walking around with the self-given stamp of being “bad luck” is an extremely dark label to give yourself, and doing so gives it more power over you.

I believe most things we encounter in life boil down to mindset. In a big sense, your mindset plays a huge role in influencing your luck. If you keep labeling yourself as “bad luck,” you’re giving that belief power over you. This negative mindset can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, where you only notice the setbacks and miss the opportunities. Conversely, a positive, open mindset can help you see possibilities where others see obstacles. It doesn’t mean everything will go your way, but it shifts your focus toward growth and resilience. Changing how you think changes how you experience life—turning “bad luck” into another challenge to overcome.

I taught myself how to do this over several years and no longer carry the “bad luck” label with me. When hurdles enter my life, I no longer label them as “bad luck” either… it’s just life happening in real-time.

21. Children are glimpses into what true freedom entails.

Children are honest, confident, secure, bold, curious, and carefree. I’ve gathered many takeaways from being around kids, and I genuinely love and admire them. Whenever I spend time with them, I feel reinspired and recharged. They are excellent reminders of qualities adults often lose as the world knocks us down. A quote I love about freedom that’s highly relevant in 2024 America:

“Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day, we’ll spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States, where men were free.” - Ronald Reagan. 

22. God doesn’t make demands for our trust.

Instead, He invites.

23. There’s never a perfect time.

Truly, all plans are fluid. When it comes to planning for future events, outings, life milestones, and even day-to-day tasks, realizing it’s impossible to achieve absolute control and perfectionism over the future is crucial. This may seem like another obvious piece of advice we’ve all heard a thousand times, yet I know for a fact we all have moments where we attempt to disregard it and try to play God in our own lives.

I think it’s important to realize there’s never a perfect time for anything to happen in life. Waiting for the “right moment” can lead to endless delays and missed opportunities. Life is unpredictable, and trying to plan everything perfectly or control every outcome is impossible. Embracing this reality frees you from the pressure of perfection and allows you to take action, even when circumstances aren’t ideal. The truth is that growth and progress often come from the unplanned and unexpected. So, instead of waiting for perfection, start where you are and trust the process.

After I learned this, and I wish I had grasped it much earlier, I became more resilient, welcoming of the unexpected, and am now so much more eager for new and niche experiences in life. 

24. Some of life’s most profound advice is found in platitudes.

“Treat others the way you want to be treated.” “Stop and smell the roses.”, “Time heals all wounds.”, “It’s okay to ask for help.”, “C’est la vie.” “Think outside the box.”, *insert your favorite cliché quote here*. These are a few that came to mind while writing this. Don’t deny the messaging correlated to any platitude merely because it’s recognized as “cliché”.

25. Growing up is… 

(a miscellaneous index of learnings)

• Realizing the dreams you had at 18 years old for your career and life overall were ridiculously far-reaching.
• Realizing your parents haven’t figured out life… same with all adults, for that matter. There is no moment of having figured it all out. What even is “it”?
• Realizing maintaining quality friendships is one of the most motivating factors for promoting overall self-development, having a purpose, staying responsible and reliable, preventing loneliness, and having a support system.
• Realizing it’s more about the people you work with, not necessarily the work itself.
• Becoming more self-accountable.
• Being more intentionally introspective, instead of subconsciously introspective… instead of letting your mind drift off and unintentionally letting those introspective intrusive thoughts crawl around 24/7… You can make a conscious decision, and you DO have control over it. 
• Realizing you can tell so much between dog-people and kid-people. 
• Realizing sex education class in grade school taught me maybe .0001% of all there is to know that’s relevant about female hormones, the menstrual cycle, and sex in general. I know I’m not alone.
• Realizing the “places I want to travel” list I made at 19 was also absurdly unrealistic. There is no possible way I can go to all of those places, but that’s OK. 
• Realizing that maintaining optimal physical and mental health makes doing everything in life so much better, including day-to-day tasks, unexciting work, exercise, handling drama, enduring hurdles, and so on. When you feel healthy, you feel capable and resilient and are much more likely to find the mindfulness and silver linings in pretty much anything… simultaneously allowing the feelings of joy to creep in even through the most mundane of the mundane. 
• Realizing most of our healthcare system doesn’t have our best interest in mind. It’s one of the most significant segments of our economy currently, and the entire system is built around healthcare institutions making more money off of American’s “chronic” health issues. 
• Realizing a large portion of my adolescence and early adulthood has been spent burying emotions in an attempt to stay composed and, in turn, losing the ability to be grounded.
• Realizing odds are sometimes not in your favor.
• Realizing they weren’t lying about the whole frontal lobe development thing…
• Realizing that…

"Being a daughter is helping with dinner while your brother plays video games. Being a daughter is healing your mother's trauma while also healing your own. Being a daughter is forgiving your father... over and over again. Being a daughter is a lifelong burden of carrying a heavy weight dumped onto you by your elders. Like clothes that fit too big." - Being A Woman

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Thank you for reading my list. 

Can’t wait to turn 30, so I can add a thousand more learnings to it. Hooray for aging! <3